Tom was born in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park, Illinois, the daughter of Nancy (née Dare) and Chan Tom, Jr. She has a brother named Chip. Their parents were born in Chicago, and their grandparents came from Kaiping, Guangdong, China.
Raised in Highland Park, she grew up as a Catholic in a largely Jewish neighborhood.
At the age of 17, Tom landed a spot with a touring company of A Chorus Line and was cast in the Broadway production of the show less than a year later in the role of Connie. She won an Obie Award for her Off-Broadway acting and was cast in the Broadway shows Hurlyburly and Doonesbury. In Chicago she starred in the Goodman Theater's production of 'Tis Pity She's a Whore.

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