Barker was born in Rye, New York, the second child of Alexander Crichlow Barker Sr., a wealthy Canadian-born building contractor and stockbroker, and his American wife, the former Marion Thornton Beals. He had an elder sister, Frederica Amelia "Freddie" Barlow (1917–1980).
Raised in New York City and Port Chester, New York, he attended the Fessenden School and graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy. He played American football and the oboe. He attended Princeton University, but dropped out to join a theatrical stock company, much to his family's chagrin.
Barker made it to Broadway once, in a small role in a short run of Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor in 1938. He also had a small role in Orson Welles's disastrous Five Kings, which met with so many problems in Boston and Philadelphia that it never made it into New York City.

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