Spector was born in Santa Rosa, in Northern California, and grew up in nearby Guerneville. His father was an attorney and his mother worked in public education as a teacher and then as an administrator. He acted for the first time in community theater at the age of eight; and later acted in high school and college productions. After graduating from Reed College, in Portland, Oregon, he enrolled in the acting school of the American Conservatory Theater, in San Francisco, and then pursued work in regional theater, including a tour in The Lion King. He moved to New York City in 2006. Spector is Jewish on his father's side. His paternal grandmother was an actress in the New York Yiddish Theatre District.
In 2010 Spector made his Broadway debut as Rodolpho in Gregory Mosher's revival of Arthur Miller's play A View from the Bridge – a role he was unexpectedly called upon to play (having originally been cast in a bit part, as a longshoreman) when the actor scheduled for the role was injured during previews. In 2012 he played the role of Boris in The New Group's Off-Broadway production of The Russian Transport, by Erika Sheffer.
In 2014 he co-starred with Rebecca Hall in a Broadway revival of Sophie Treadwell's Machinal. They appeared together on stage in New York again in June 2017, after marrying, in Clare Lizzimore's play Animal. They have also appeared together on screen in the 2016 drama Christine and the 2017 film Permission.

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