Belzer was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut, the son of Frances and Charles Belzer, a tobacco and candy retailer. He grew up in a Jewish family. He described his mother as frequently physically abusive, and declared that his comedy career began when trying to make his mother laugh in order to distract her from abusing him and his brother. After graduating from Fairfield Warde High School, Belzer worked as a reporter for the Bridgeport Post.\n', '

Belzer attended Dean College, which was then known as Dean Junior College, in Franklin, Massachusetts, but was expelled. He worked at a variety of jobs, including sales and as a census taker.\n', '

After his first divorce, Belzer relocated to New York City, moved in with singer Shelley Ackerman, and began working as a stand-up comic at Pips, The Improv, and Catch a Rising Star. He participated in the Channel One comedy group that satirized television and became the basis for the cult movie The Groove Tube, in which Belzer played the costar of the ersatz TV show "The Dealers."\n', '

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